Man, I get engaged and I disappear. It's a shame because I always have a million thoughts to get down in writing.
It's been an incredible few months since the Australian vacay and the engagement. We have nailed down most of the details and are in the mid-part of planning where there is really nothing to do. Once September hits I will probably be plenty busy.
Right now my focus is on getting stuff together for the visa application that we will be submitting in October. I'm trying to get my mind wrapped around the sheer intensity of the situation as they ask for evidence of my existence, evidence of my feelings, and my first born child. I may have to rent a truck to carry all of the paperwork I will be sending to the Australian embassy.I hope they are prepared for a shit storm of information coming their way. Why yes, I DO offer a courtesy flush in the bathroom. I DO have a mugshot, but I was 8 and my mom was dating a cop. Anything else?
Since we got most of the details out of the way Rick and I have been spending a lot of time talking about our relationship. Being so far away all we can do is talk at this point. As such we occasionally get into a bit of a tiff at times because, hey, we're human, and we are far away, and frustrated. Tensions can definitely run high. Anyone who has ever been in a long-distance relationship can attest to the fact that it is HARD work. Points can get missed or misinterpreted and frustrations increase. We had one such frustrating moment when one of us decided to play amateur psychologist. I won't say who, but it was him. Haha. What ensued was a 2 hour long series of texts and phone calls to get it all straightened out. At one point I was so mad I wanted to get on a plane to OZ just to strangle the shit out of him. We ended up getting it all worked out in the end, but it was hard. Relationships are hard period. When you throw in numerous other factors such as time, distance, and lack of physical contact it is easy to see how so many can end badly. I won't let that happen. When the chips fall I still want to be with him more than anything in the world. I love the line from The Wedding Date when they say, " I'd rather fight with you than make love with anyone else." I look at it all as building a stronger foundation for our life together. Every hardship we encounter and succeed in defeating only makes us that much stronger. It's a good thing.
It occurred to me that growing up I never really thought beyond what it would be like to be married. As a girl I had grown up thinking of the wedding I would have someday, but never the marriage. I thought of the dress and the flowers, but never the husband and wife. For me they were mutually exclusive. My Barbie dolls got to throw the flowers and kiss the groom, but I never thought about what life would be like past the dream house. In my world Ken didn't leave the toilet seat up and accuse Barbie of being in a bad mood all the time because he didn't understand her.
Even when I got married at the ridiculously early(for me) age of 20, I really never got beyond the wedding. I never thought about the next day when the wedding was over and you get down to the serious business of being a couple and sharing a life together for better or worse. I was very naive and in retrospect, not in love.
I've realized now, with a little time and maturity, that now it's not so much the wedding as much as I just want to be married to him. I could care less if we got hitched by an ordained horse, I just want to be with him. Good or bad. I want to share my life with this man who infuriates me, exhilarates me, annoys me, stimulates me, frustrates me, challenges me, makes me laugh and loves me unconditionally. Yes, unconditionally. I never thought I would find that, but I did. I found the man I want to be married to, not just someone to stand next to me while I live out my childhood fantasies playing house. I will gladly trade in all of my Barbie dream house scenarios to live in the real world where fights happen, but love endures past saying I do. I have the real thing,and not even Barbie herself can say she has that.
Beginnings are scary. Endings are usually sad, but it’s the middle that counts the most.-Hope Floats
Back to uni
3 years ago